Monday, June 20, 2016

Peeves #2 The Grocery Store

Peeves #2 The Grocery Store

Taste Testers

Look, stop putting your fingers in the berries or cherries or grapes to sample them. They are pre packaged and weighed and in many cases taped or sealed shut so you cant touch them. Im convinced that the reason raspberries go bad so quickly is because of nasty ass taste testers grubby hands. I saw a dude who had 4 boxes of raspberries opened up rearranging good ones into one box to take home. He had broken all the seals and everything! SICKENING! Ill bet this is the cause of e-Coli and Salmonella!
Think about it, you dont bring a spoon with you to taste test the Ice Cream or demand a taste of the live Lobsters. Why do it with produce?

Tomato Pickers

 "Tomatoes On The Vine" does not mean for you to pull individual tomatoes off the vine that you like, "Tomatoes On The Vine" means you buy the entire bunch, which is usually 5 to 6 to a bunch.
I see they are finally putting them in bags or mesh bags so you cant do it anymore! HAHAHA! FOILED!

Chit Chatters/Catcher-Uppers/Clogger-Uppers

Two old friends from high school and their carts and kids clogging up the aisle, deep in conversation, completely unaware that others need to get thru the aisle, UGH!
Go stand in the adult diaper aisle and catch up!

Coupon Wrastlers

Look get yer damn coupons settled before you get to the cash register! Quit holding up the line and I dont wanna see you mouth "Im sorry"... Ya aint sorry and ya know it.

Bag Checkers/Clogger-Uppers Part 2

Look, the place to check your bag for your shopping list (glasses, phone, put your gloves or keys away etc) is not in the entrance way in the automatic door way. There are others wanting to get in to shop. Step aside and think of others.

Deli Ghosts
When you are number 78 at the Deli and they are calling 65? 66? 67? 68? 69? 70? 71? 72? 73? 74? 75? 76? 77? What the fuck happened to all those shoppers? Were they swallowed in a vortex under the Salad Bar or did the live Lobsters get them?
Where did they go?

Double Bagging For No Reason

My 4 commemorative magazines about the late great Legend Prince do not need to be triple bagged and my eggs dont need double bagging and for fucks sake quit bagging shit with handles, catfood and gallons of milk dont need extra plastic wrapped around them, they can be grabbed by their handles.

Wastefulness/ "Fuck Salad! I Want Ice Cream!"

I ABSOLUTELY HATE when people will pick out a salad from the salad bar and put it in the plastic clamshell box, then I see it in the freezer near the Ice Cream frozen solid! Or leave a package of Hot Dogs or Frozen Food out near the magazines, thawed out and unsellable
The store cannot sell it now that you fucked it up.
Ask a store employee to put it away for you.

Rotten Veggies

The other day I noticed a lot of very young boys working in produce. I saw a stack of clamshell packages of completely ROTTEN fresh turmeric root. I see Jicama totally shriveled and soft, same with Horseradish. If your produce manager isnt knowledgeable about PRODUCE. how can you feel confident you're buying safe and fresh produce?

Nasty Deli Seafood Counters

 If you walk past a Seafood or Deli or Butcher counter and time and time again it has a bad odor, like Pinesol AND decomposed meat or shellfish mixed together dont buy anything ever. Trust me, Ive worked at a Seafood Restaurant, I know why that is, and its not good!

People Who Dont "Get" Aldi's

Aldi is amazing in every way. Get to know it better!

Frozen Salad

Baggers need to quit bagging salad or other fresh veggies with FROZEN things.
By the time you get home, sit down and relax 5 minutes and start putting stuff away, the lettuce is now FROZEN on one side and will get slimey in 1 day.

Green Potatoes

If your grocer displays their POTATOES under bright lights, it makes them turn GREEN and dangerous! Dont ever buy potatoes there.

Green Bones

Green Bones on beef means something is bad, if your grocery store has green beef bones never buy any meats there.

Pre-Cut Deli Meat

OMG I hate stores that pre-cut their deli meats and either let it dry out in thats long tray or wrap it up and you cant see what you are buying. Im talking about YOU Wegmans!

Walmart Trying To Kill Poor Folks

Walmart? I see your "Wall of Tilapia"...You think youz bein' slick selling seemingly "healthy" fish on the cheap, but you know why its cheap, dontcha? Tilapia has loads of Omega 6s, not as many Omega 3s.
Not so heart healthy! Head to Aldi for your fish guys, and notice how the fried chicken and pizza is right in the front near the entrance? That aint no mistake! That is, as George Dubya Bush, called "Strategery"...

Dont get me started on Whole Foods and Trader Joes Snobs!!!!!!!!!!!!